I never watch commercials anymore, as I haven’t had cable TV since moving out of my parents’ house. Only at doctor’s offices, like my dentist, playing episodes of Friends while the hygienist cleans my teeth, or like now, this tiny waiting room at the hospital while I wait for my annual physical and they have the History Channel on (a bit aggressive for 8:25am, no?).
Anyway, maybe it’s because I never watch them that now when I do, I’m hyperaware of all the messaging they are throwing at us. The most common message? Buy this product to solve the problems that WE caused you!
For example…
A beautiful field, fruit trees glistening with dew-dropped berries, zooming out to reveal… the label of a multivitamin bottle! Because why not just get your nutrients from a capsule, rather than actual fruit and veggies?
A weight loss smoothie, chocolate and vanilla flavored, a measuring tape tightening as the patient miraculously sheds so many pounds (and often doesn’t even look like the same person!). Because the food we sell is fattening, so here’s another product to buy to combat that! A vicious cycle!
A small child drinking a similar smoothie, but this time to help them gain weight and height. “Is your child not growing like their peers? Drink X!” Again, because our food lacks the nutrients kids need to grow and stay healthy, so mask the nutrients in something they’re sure to find yummy!
(This commercial came right after one for sugary cereal, by the way.)
A woman sharing all the woes that befell her because she was a smoker. “Smoking gave me gum disease and made me lose all my teeth. Quit today,” she says. I’m not even gonna go into this one.
The irony is not lost on me that these are playing at doctor’s and dentist’s offices…
I don’t have anything wise to say. And my name was just called! So here ends slice number 4.
Writing With Abandon 
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