Center Stage

On the team Slack channel:

[2:34 PM] Me: Omg I’m dying

[2:34 PM] Me: Their video kept zooming all over the place

[2:34 PM] Me: C didn’t even get a word in

[2:34 PM] C: The constant panning and zooming of the camera was so funny

[2:34 PM] Me: I had to really hold it together

[2:34 PM] C: me too

[2:34 PM] C: felt like I was watching The Office

As I type I find myself uncontrollably laughing, tears streaming down my cheeks.

For the last 45 minutes, C and I had been in a call with a client who hadn’t disabled that dreaded Center Stage feature that so many Mac users have.

“Why is it zooming in on my face?” our client asked as the meeting began. But we had business to discuss! So the meeting continued, with no real issue, as for much of it I was sharing my screen.

Except in those final moments, when I stopped sharing, and the other person in our client’s office started speaking.

She was standing off to the side and behind our client.

Center Stage took quick action — it panned to center the speaker in full view, then zoomed in to her face, slowly, as she spoke.

I swallowed the laugh that dared to escape from me.

I looked at C’s video and saw her sitting calmly.

Amy, don’t you dare, I told myself as I nodded and smiled, gripping my thighs beneath the desk and out of sight of my own camera.

Center Stage zoomed out and panned back to our client as we said our goodbyes.

I clicked the button to end the call.

The laugh that had been threatening to escape burbled out nervously with a huge breath, and I immediately went to Slack to document what had happened.