One Of My Favorites

S has been extra affectionate these last few weeks of school, and even more so in these final days.

“I can’t believe I’m graduating,” she says, sidling up next to me and laying her head on my shoulder.

“You mean, ‘I can’t believe I graduated,’” I reply, reminding her through verb conjugation that graduation was last Friday.

“Ms. Amy, stop!” She whines, lifting her head. Then she lays it back down. “I’m really going to miss you.”

“I’m going to miss you too, S!” I say, giving her a squeeze.

S always asks if she’s my favorite, and I always tell her I don’t have any favorites, but the truth is, I do, and she is definitely one of them.

I never have just one favorite student though. Each week or so, I go through a phase of being absolutely obsessed with one of them. It usually aligns with the relationship getting stronger, with the student feeling more at ease with me, and thus me with them.

S has been on that list for a while now though. Her dad reminds me of an uncle or family friend, and their closeness reminds me of my own with my dad. She’s bright, has a truly hilarious sense of humor, and in the last few months has been spouting wise sayings at random moments.

For example, during the week we had sex ed, one of the days we learned about the layers of the pre-teen/early adolescent “relationship cake”: friendship, emotional connectedness, nonsexual physical intimacy, and shared meaning. When asked why these layers mattered, S replied: “Because you need to get to know someone really well before you decide to get in a relationship with them. Otherwise you have to find all that out later, and what if it doesn’t align? What if they’re toxic? Know your self worth, then your boundaries! You can’t give your heart to someone without knowing if they’re going to break it!”

All of us stared. Was this an 11-year-old or a 40-year-old?

“PREACH, S!” Kim and I chanted.

Last week, she recorded a video manifesting my future in 10 years. It involved she and I reconnecting because I was writing books and she was reading them. I hope there’s some truth in that future she imagined for me, because it seems pretty damn lovely!

Tomorrow’s our last day with them, and even though my head is pounding, my voice is fading, and I’m just barely able to open my eyes in the morning, I know the truth is that I am going to miss them.

I’m certainly going to miss S.