Writing With Abandon

Reflections and ramblings about life as an educator, writer, reader, knitter, and over-thinker. Trying to do the writing only I can do.

Category: Uncategorized

  • Writing Conference with Myself

    If a writing teacher were to come up to me right now, 8:17pm on a Tuesday night, 28th slice of 31, ask me the magic words: “How’s it going?”

    If it were I in the writer’s seat, pen in hand, notebook open before me, I would reply: “Not well.”

    “Not well?”

    “I can’t think of anything to write today. I’m plumb out of ideas.”

    “What tools do you have for generating ideas?”

    “I know, I know. Think of places and people and memories close to your heart. Make a list, choose one, write everything down. Use Ralph Fletcher’s ‘breathing in and breathing out,’ or a photograph, or an observation out my window. But I’m telling you, I’m stuck.”

    “Let’s try. What’s one small moment from today, just an image, that gave you joy?”

    Ugh, I’d think. Fine, I’ll try.

    And close my eyes. And breathe. And think about what moment today was not hectic, not loud, not tiring.

    “I’ve got it!”

    “Great. Now write it down.”

    Tuesday, March 28th

    At recess, my student brought her notebook down to the playground, led me to a bench, and read me her poem about #middleschoolfeelings. Legs crossed on the bench, notebook open in her lap. Voice soft, yet powerful. We workshopped a few possible endings. She borrowed my pen to ink the chosen one. Then went off to share it with a friend.

    Day 28(!!!) of 31

  • His First Sudoku

    Today M picked up sudoku as an early finishers after math, settling in next to me as he worked through it. It was his second time attempting the puzzle, as the first time he didn’t quite understand how it worked. Today, he was ready to try again, determined.

    I could see the gears grinding in his brain as he successfully placed one, two, three digits.

    “I got a whole row!” he cheered.

    “Great work!” I told him as I checked another student’s math journal.

    “I’m gonna write the little numbers in the corners for these next ones,” he said. Then suddenly, he pouted. “No wait, I think I messed it up.”

    I leaned over. “Hmm, let’s see.” I spotted the mistake. “There! You put a 6, but the row already had one.”

    “Do I have to start over?” he asked.

    “Nope! Just erase that one and see what other digit could go there.”

    “Okay,” he said, erasing and taking another determined breath in.

    A few minutes later, he cried out, “I got a whole square, look!”

    “Amazing! See?” I said. “Want me to check the book to see if it’s correct?”

    “You can do that? Yeah!”

    I checked. He was right.

    “Now you can use that square to help you with the rest of the puzzle.” I looked at the clock. “But we have to transition to PE now.”

    I started to gather the other students to transition. M stayed glued to the puzzle.

    “How about you take it on a clipboard to PE? That way, in case you need a break, you have it.”

    “Yes!!” he cheered, and quickly put the rest of his materials away, grabbing a clipboard and lining up.

    The rest of the day, M had the clipboard with him. He used it for a couple moments during PE (“while the girls were arguing,” he said), as we lined up to go to Spanish, at lunch after finishing a Spanish word search, during quiet time, and then finally for music. When everyone returned upstairs to clean up, pack up, and get ready for closing circle, he bounded in excitedly.

    “Ms. Amy, I finished the whole puzzle!” he said, showing it off to me.

    “You did it!” I cheered. “Want to save puzzle #2 for tomorrow?”

    “Nah, I think I’ll bring it home,” he smiled proudly.

    Day 27 of 31

  • A New Community

    I had different plans for this slice (or did I? It’s 5:40pm on a Sunday and I am tired and ready to get out of the house for a walk or a run before I settle in for the evening), but then I read Elisabeth’s wonderful slice about commenting!

    As a first time slicer, the comments were a totally unexpected and welcome surprise. Yes, yes, I knew that commenting on 3 other slicers’ posts each day was part of the challenge, but I didn’t realize that meant other slicers would comment on MY posts.

    And so each day I was pleasantly surprised as a couple of comments would come trickling in, or likes, or even follows! It filled my cup, especially during a month that has been such a mental, physical, and emotional challenge for me.

    So, I dedicate this slice to the new community, and offer a little introduction about myself, inviting you to comment with the same so that I can get to know my fellow slicers/bloggers/writers better!

    My name is Amy. I’m originally from New York City (Upper West Side!), lived in Madrid for two years, and now currently reside in Miami. I love reading, knitting & crafting, singing loudly to music, cooking, and moving my body (yoga, running, pilates, rollerblading). I taught for 5 years in NYC public schools as a Spanish dual language teacher, and currently am in my second year at a private school as a monolingual teacher (though with many students who are bilingual, porque claro — estamos en Miami). I studied creative writing in college but then let go of it for a little while, only to rediscover my love of it as a teacher of writer’s workshop last year. My friend and mentor, Ana, encouraged me to start this blog. My cousin and literacy consultant, Nawal, inspired me to join the slice of life challenge. And here I am!

    Now, tell me a little about you!

    Day 26 of 31

  • Saturday Morning Poem, or, Slice of Life Day 25

    Waking up before the city

    on a weekend morning,

    the only light coming from

    the glow of the TV,

    aerial view left on

    hovering over bridges

    cars, mountains.

    Outside,

    dark, sun still sleeps,

    car headlights glow

    as they take workers

    to weekend jobs,

    partiers

    home from a long

    night out.

    You tossed and

    turned in bed,

    hoping to fall back to sleep,

    but thoughts swirled

    neck sore (from the pillow?

    from the first workout

    you did in a while?)

    and eventually at 6:37am

    you rose up,

    ready to greet the day.

    Day 25 of 31

  • Figgy

    When my husband and I got married, my brother-in-law (a florist), gifted us a beautiful fiddle leaf fig tree. Unfortunately, our third floor apartment didn’t get enough sun (despite its huge windows), and the tree’s leaves started to brown and fall off, until suddenly it was naked — just a couple of branches with some leaf stragglers.

    I never did have a great green thumb, having never been able to keep succulents alive very long (DO they need water? I’ve tried, I’ve really tried, but alas…).

    But when we moved to Miami, to an apartment on the 32nd floor with west-facing windows and a (still unbelievable) amount of sunlight, I decided to change that. I went to Home Depot and bought three small plants: a philodendron, a ZZ plant, and a fiddle leaf fig.

    The fiddle leaf fig, or Figgy, as I like to call her, took just a couple weeks after repotting to get comfortable. I could tell, she really liked her new home.

    First day after repotting
    1 week after repotting

    From then on, she started to sprout new leaves, and she never stopped.

    We had a couple of moments where I feared she was ill — a couple yellowed leaves, some spots, signs of over- or under-watering — but she pulled through. I even propagated a couple of leaves in water and was able to gift my friend Ana a new plant of her own, which I hear is thriving.

    Throughout the last year, Figgy has grown so much.

    Now, Figgy stands as tall as our TV, and she’s gorgeous. I let her know it, too, when I walk past. The ZZ has even gone through many changes (when it outgrew its pot, I discovered there were 4 separate plants inside, and gifted 3 of them to some friends), but Figgy is my pride and joy.

    How are you with plants?

    Day 24 of 31

  • Me and Blogging Go Way Back

    This morning I woke up to an email with the news that on this day in 2006, I joined LiveJournal.

    In my memories, I joined far before then. Perhaps this was one of my many accounts (because I did have many), because I’m fairly sure I remember exactly when I started my first blog. It was just after my first summer at camp, because Alice and Claire also had them. I opened one and made it private just to my followers, and it was a real diary for a while for me.

    I remember that I followed a girl from New Orleans, and that’s how I found out about Hurricane Katrina. She was blogging as her family evacuated in preparation for the disaster, and then continued blogging as they realized they wouldn’t be able to return home.

    I also had a Xanga in 7th grade, both an individual one as well as a joint one that I ran with my friend Tamar as the “Gossip Girl” of our school. Oh boy.

    I guess blogging sort of fell by the wayside as I got into high school, which is when social media started to take over. I got a MySpace, followed by Friendster, was it?, and finally Facebook, when they opened it to high schoolers (remember when it was just for college kids, then just college + HS? I remember when my mom’s company required her to get a Facebook account, and I thought it was so strange that they were opening it to all ages).

    And now, here I am — deleting Instagram and TikTok off my phone because of the time sucks that they are, and completing a 31-day blogging challenge!

    Day 23 of 31

  • Cold Runs

    Yesterday I went on a run for the first time since my vertigo started (which is gone, people! Hallelujah!). The weather was perfect — 70, low humidity. Daylight Savings has the sun setting at 7:30pm now, so it was all blue and pink skies as I left off at 7. I opened up Spotify and chose a playlist I hadn’t listened to in a long time: “cold runs,” the playlist I listened to on repeat as I trained for my first ever half marathon in 2014.

    It’s amazing how songs can transport you to another time and place. Even as I jogged steadily along the beautiful bay, the wind cooling me off, I remembered running along the icy bridle path in Central Park. Freezing toes, cold bursts of visible breath through my thin merino neck gaiter, avoiding puddles of slush and black ice. I remembered singing along to those songs with friends from Mud, the café I worked at the year after college.

    Even now, just sitting at home over break, copywriting and listening to Innerbloom by Rüfüs du Sol, I am transported to the All Day I Dream festival we went to pre-pandemic at the Brooklyn Mirage. Back when we still didn’t feel the pressure of adulthood in the same way we do now. Back when we all seemed to have more free time and more energy to see people after work.

    But then the song ends, and I look around, and we’re not in 2014 or 2019. We’re in March 2023, just trying to figure it all out.

    Day 22 of 31

  • Love Letters

    Today my mom and my sister visited my grandparents’ home in Philadelphia to go through and gather the final things we want to keep before saying goodbye to the apartment.

    Tillie sent me some photos along with this letter my grandfather sent to my grandmother. It’s clearly from before they were married, and it makes my heart full. They married so young and were together for decades. Companions.

    “I’m glad you spoke to your father about us, and I’m very happy that he likes me. I know you have a lot to tell me, and I can’t wait to get home so that I can hear it. I’ll get home to [sic] late on Sunday to speak to you, so I’ll see you on Monday. So long, darling, till then, love me? I love you — Harold”

    It’s a love you can only hope for in this life!

    Day 21 of 31

  • Dream Jobs

    I love teaching, I really do, but it is certainly a draining career. The pandemic really shook things up for me in terms of realizing how the boundary between work and home was nonexistent. The past two years have been much better, but as someone with multiple interests, hobbies, and talents, I still find myself daydreaming sometimes about alternate careers…

    Like copywriting. A side gig I started last spring, which I’m really quite good at and can be very lucrative. A job I could do remotely, allowing me to travel the world or live in a different time zone.

    Or becoming a full-time fiber arts maker. I’ve been a knitter since middle school, and recently took up punch needle, which I love. My family friend, a fellow crafter, texted me yesterday, “We should start an Etsy shop!” And I let myself think about that possibility, too.

    Or maybe I could open a bookshop/café/yarn shop with my best friend down here. Miami certainly needs one, and I loved working as a barista as a 22-year-old.

    Or I could be a writer, if I finally got my act together and wrote every day.

    Maybe I could go back to school and study psychiatry, become a therapist for children or young people.

    What alternate careers do you daydream about?

    Day 20 of 31

  • Early Morning Grocery Haul

    Have you ever gone to a grocery store on a Saturday or Sunday morning, soon after it opens?

    That’s my favorite time to get the weekly shopping done.

    Everyone in the city is in bed still, sleeping the night’s antics away, while I arrive on the scene to encounter fully stocked fridges and shelves, aisles empty of carts, and no line at any register upon checkout.

    I can take my time if I wish or get out quickly, not wasting minutes searching for something that sold out hours ago, or weaving in between other shoppers.

    I follow my list — produce, pantry, fridge — and make it home within the hour.

    The perfect start to a week off.

    Day 19 of 31